Right of Passage

So as some of you may know, I am traveling to Costa Rica and visiting for a week in just 9 days! This will be my first time on a plane ever! And I'm going to be alone! So I've never traveled internationally and people are wondering why I would go alone. And I always tell them that I'm tired of waiting for people it's time to start living my life the way it's meant to be lived. About a month and a half ago I almost lost my life and I realized how dispensable life can be. So I'm on a path to happiness. I can't let anyone be an obstacle or detriment in my path. I've never been the type to have that much patience and follow people anyway but this is something I must do. I am the first in my family to have such accomplishments as owning a degree, owning a car, traveling solo, or moving out of the house at an early age. No one in my family even has a passport and considering my sister and I are the only women in my family to have driver's licenses that determines interests or the lack thereof. So I created a right of passage for myself. This year I am going to continue  do things I've always wanted to do but just never had much encouragement or support to do so. The things my family feared are not mine. I will visit 5 countries before I turn 25 even if I have to go alone. And it's not my family's fault they just didn't have similar interests at the time and if they did they weren't motivated enough to pull through the circumstances and do it. But that's definetely not me. I always find a way! San Pedro, Costa Rica here I come! Can't wait to place my feet on foreign ground thank you Jesus Christ the son of God!

Soul Bonding

I'm developing a really special relationship with myself and Jesus Christ and the more I mature the more I take responsibility for everything or every relationship I have endured in my past. Thank God I never was the type to fall quickly for just anyone. Even when I was younger I sort of understood my worth. You can say I made a few mistakes with guys but I cherish them a as learning lessons. And I appreciate them all. But I'm proud to say I never really rushed into anything physical with a guy. There was one time I started to move a bit fast but that was the only time I felt like my soul was connected to this person. I can't really explain but you'll know when it happens. But when it happens and things begin to move a bit fast, how will that other person know? How would you be able to convince him/her that it's not you it's them? I don't usually do this fast-paced stuff, he just triggered something in my soul that gave me non stop green lights. And you know the soul bonding is there when you can't even slow down. When you can't cease to day dream about all of your future excursions with this guy and you think about all of the words you two have exchanged over the past months. When you can't seem to find someone as close to perfectly matching your wants, needs, desires. And over a large amount of time, months, years, you notice that out of the 20 or more people you've been on dates with no one left a strong enough impression to completely obliterate your thoughts of that guy you're so in love with. And the dates never get past those initial 2 dates and you know it. And that's why you stare at your glass of water at the dinner table while you drift off into dream land about your lover boy. And you yawn from the boredom and all the day dreaming you've just had  while you are on the date with the other guy. And you know it's so wrong but sometimes fantasizing is better than experiencing the reality of the bigger picture.

Law of Attraction-My Life's Coincidences

I was talking on the phone with my ex boy friend explaining to him about how I need affection and I want to feel loved. I explained how I was feeling really emotional at the moment and I felt sadness and loneliness. A minute later I receive a text from a male friend saying "I love you" it was so random there was no good morning or how are you attached to it. And I didn't understand because I have not spoken to this person in a few weeks. I explained to the friend exactly what I'm explaining to you and when I asked him why he sent it he simply replied I don't know I just felt like you needed that message. He went on to say God told me to send it to you.

I wanted a new car so bad. I would think about it everyday when I drove my little hooptie. But I knew I could not really afford it not even a down payment. So one day I walked into a dealership and walked out that same day with a new car which I paid no money down for not even a dime. And the car came at a perfect time. I saved money on repairs. I was happier. I felt better in my car and got places quicker. My first months car insurance was paid for. It was great.

I was ready to file my taxes but I still needed some tax information. Right before I left to file my taxes my aunt comes in and says Vanessa I think u just got your w2 and there it was one of my w2's and my charity information that I needed for taxes. I was set. So I thought.

I wanted a new place to live so bad. I was living in a room in corona with two noisy roommates and I wanted my own apt. So I applied for low income housing but not thinking much of it. My sister applied at the same time. Two months later I receive an email from them saying that I was chosen in the lottery. The first draw was a mistake that left me heartbroken. So they placed me back in the lottery and I was picked again! Unbelievably I gathered all my documents with faith. I couldn't believe that I was chosen in the lottery twice for these apts while others who have applied for the same thing were not chosen at all!

Are you catching on?

One day I was flat broke and barely had enough money to eat with. I suddenly decided to check my bank account to make sure I didn't go below the dollar that was in there and voila to my surprise I saw $40 in my account! Couldn't have came at a better time! Of course it was a refund that I forgot about and had no clue I was getting but luckily I was very grateful for the gift.

Shall I go on?

Two summers ago I planned a bday celebration for myself but didn't have enough money to to take taxi with all the heavy bags I had from queens to the Bronx. So I flagged a cab to at least go to the train station. And the generous cab driver offered to take me half way-over the queensboro bridge to manhattan for only five bucks! Guess he liked my presence. 

Although I am beyond appreciative for these experiences they are sometimes frightening facts. Because now I really believe in the law of attraction. When you meditate long enough on and are positive about something you will be successful at it. It will just come to you effortlessly.

For instance I met a really challenging guy (which I wasn't to fond of initially) that for months I struggled to understand. He's really successful and has everything I want in life but I had some doubt I can get him because of the demand I'm sure he has from several women.and because I'm technically not on his level as far as worth. And everyone doubted this relationship as well. They felt like he was only taking advantage of me. Nonetheless I'm still in doubt. However, I managed to get this man to tell me those magic words that I oh so desired to hear from him and him only for so long..."I love you" and he's said it way more than I've said it. Considering I've only said it once. He was the first to say it and even though it hasn't been well proven I do see little attempts in the form of small gifts for me, someone who has yet to have given him one gift. So if I was able to get this rich ladies man to admit to having supposed feelings for me with very little effort then anythings possible right? And I think about this guy every minute of the day so I'm sure I'll have him soon. Only reason why I don't have him yet is because I still have doubt and fears of rejection.

So I'm tracking these coincidences whether big or small.

I needed help moving out of my corona apt but didn't really have the money for a moving truck and didn't want to do the taxi thing but I didn't know who to call and my move out deadline was a week away. Not asking for help I went to my regular bible study meet and my friends asked me if I was moving out still and if I needed help. I jumped at the offer! I no longer needed to worry about moving all that stuff or renting a car because they had cars and on top of it all they even offered to collectively help me move everything into the car! I didn't break one nail. It was so effortless! 

I am so blessed! I love my church friends!

Two summers ago I was in dire need of employment. I was fresh out of college with a BA and I was home broke and dependent. I desperately searched for employment and reached out to others for 2 full months until one day I was invited to an open mic at a lounge by my friends fiancé. I was late of course. I got there after the party was over but they had an after party at another bar and I met one of the fiancée friends and we talked about school and employment and I told him I was looking for work. Sure enough he said they were looking for counselor a and instructors at the Y. I was delighted so I jumped on the opportunity and I worked there for 6 months before I transferred to a better opportunity. But it kept me busy and level headed for awhile. This experience was very life changing especially because of the people I met there. I met a girl there that introduced me to her church and since then my faith and relationship with God has never been the same. I am having the time of my life with that church and I am so thankful! That church has helped me and my family in so many ways!

I give tithes almost every Sunday, I donate money to charity every month (sponsoring a child in Honduras) and every once in awhile I donate money to ppl in my circle or on the street. So last Sunday I gave $5 to my church but not expecting anything back I just gave because I love my church and this morning my aunt walks in the bathroom and hands me a $50 bill. I was so shocked because it was so unexpected.

I am always very grateful of everything that enters my life good and bad. I feel so blessed and confident that good, things that I want and money always flows my way. So even the smallest requests like for instance I've been wanting a new makeup bag for the longest. One day I walked into Victoria's Secret and was offered a free makeup bag and was told I took the last one. Feeling like it was meant to be, I walked out of the store amazed. It was cute just what I wanted. I've also been wanting to upgrade my iPhone. Last weekend I found two iPhones (not one but two!) in a bathroom stall one which was an upgrade to mine. Reluctant to steal it I turned it in but nonetheless I was overwhelmed with the art of asking and receiving. The key is in the believing. The belief that it's a already done! You must have little to no doubt these things will happen to you or it won't happen. I always walk around feeling abundant and grateful and for that I am always blessed. Another small but significant success story was when I walked into dunkin donuts unwilling to spend on a coolata and was offered a free iced latte by another customer there.

A month ago on my sisters birthday I was invited out with her but I didn't really want to go. I was so tired and just uninterested but I forced myself to go anyway because she made me feel bad about it. On my way to her I got into a car accident in which I was hit really badly on the left side of my car (drivers side) and forced into an electrical pole. My car was declared totaled. I could have lost my life geez talk about an electrical pole that was given barely enough force. I came out with not one scratch. But I learned my lesson that feelings are very powerful to the universe. Only put out what you want to receive because if I really wanted to go I would not have been stopped the way I was stopped. I really just didn't want to go. So in that case the lesson was ok since you don't want to go let me ensure that you don't go because now you're going against your will. And sure enough at that point I couldn't go anywhere. Thank god the accident was just to teach me a lesson. It was bad enough so I won't go but not bad enough that I would lose my life from it.