Sex Idols and why they distort young women

The other day an evangelist preacher came on to the train and my first reaction was Lord is he going to do all of that shouting and telling people that they are going to hell? Surprisingly he was pretty good. So interesting that what he said resonated with me. Now it was nothing that I did not know about but it was his delivery that captured us. He was not trying to scare us and he did not seem schizophrenic. Instead he was telling us that God is forgiving and he understands your mistakes therefore its not too late. He said that the reason why most of us on the train were probably going to go home and have sex, smoke weed, drink or take any other type of drug, etc is because we are trying to find peace within those things. 

  What really caught my attention was when he talked about the media's influence. He spoke about how our women (black women) are selling their bodies to the media as video vixens to make a living for themselves. Thoughts of my past watching music videos automatically invaded my mind. I grew up on music videos because of my mother which is probably why I hate them now. I hate 106 & park and all of BET and MTV. I was so influenced by those videos its sad. I wanted those bodies, I wanted the attention from men, yea I wore those tight things when I was a teenager, and I relaxed my hair. I was to young to know any better and of course my parents didn't. What's even more disappointing is like many women my age, I've carried some of this into my adulthood. 

Back in those days women like Khia, Trina, Lil Kim, Mya and other sex symbols were our idols because there were and still are very few black women in the media, especially very few positive role models. And over time I watched as the music videos became increasingly raw and misogynistic. Remember BET uncut when they would show all those dirty videos at night and the irony of the gospel in the morning. How typical BET. Now they show these videos all throughout the day and just block all of the explicit words. American culture is now overtly sexual and very hard to escape if its all you've known. I will always be me but sometimes I fall weak to those hypnotizing beats in those degrading "young money" tracks. As much as I hate them for the distortion of the female, Its terribly hard to escape. 

     I also thought about how in high school me and my friends would talk about pole dancing. Even though we would never do it professionally, it just looked so amazing to us. We even wanted to take the classes. The video vixens and models in the videos looked hot doing it and we thought that's what men wanted. But I learned being sexy will get you a lot of things but it won't get you very far. Yea it'll get you a sex friend, maybe a temporary man or even a job but if you want to be married, you have to be more than just sexy honey. And i'm sure most of us want a stable boyfriend. FYI: men don't prefer to marry chicks that are known for being sex objects, symbols, or hoes. When I say hoes I mean women who continually make mistakes with the same types of men. These women usually have a lot of bodies by the age of 30 and then wonder why they're not married and men their age are going for younger girls. Like comedian Patrice Oneill said, Why have a hooptie when you can have a brand new benz!  Having that many bodies is not sexy. Maybe for men but not women. We gotta understand yea we are sexually independent but we can't do all the same things as men if we want to keep one. We live in a sexist patriarch. We have to play their game.

I know women like Rihanna, Beyonce, Kim Kardashian and even Nikki Minaj are the stereotypical beauties that we all subconsciously try to mimic but they are merely sex symbols. They're all for profit. They don't care about you. It doesn't matter how many charities they own. Its all for show. These people have evil intentions and just because it seems like they live a happy life, they are not fully satisfied. Look what happened to Lauren Hill. See were so brainwashed by this stuff that we probably can't even think otherwise. Look at Rihanna. She got her ass beat by the love of her life and now she's crying for him back. Kind of odd when she can have any man she wants with that body, that face, and that talent, even that MONEY, right? Just like the beautiful miss Evelin from Basketball wives or Kim Kardashian whose sex tape lead her to fame but ruined her chances of a lasting marriage forever. Poor girl :(. I'm sure no one wants to end up like these people so why do we admire them?

   I know a lot of women see that fake hair is acceptable among celebrities. Celebrities pay thousands of dollars for hair and stylists and sometimes it still doesn't look good. The average women doesn't spend much of anything on her hair and it rarely looks good. Now i'm not going to pretend like I've never wore a weave and i am completely against it because weaves when they are done correctly, are a great protective style and can look very good. So of course the will to have a more Eurocentric beauty and big ass and large breasts never really goes away.  It is embedded in our psyches and our men perpetuate it. That's why the media is so distorting. I can honestly say i'm fucked up in the head trying to find happiness now because of it. 

 He ended by saying we need to find peace within God. Since I've been on this spiritual journey that's what I have been trying to do. I know, I'm extremely deep sometimes but I just can not cease to think about how beautiful life is and its origin. This usually helps me detach myself from all of this polished sex culture. My self-esteem is much better because of this. We all need to accept the fact that we are only human. We can't all look like these people or be like them. We need to all find peace within our selves hence our souls are God's conduit, and the beauty will shine from the inside out.